You call them arrogant when you think it isn’t. Confident people, on the other hand, have no problem listening. The most arrogant young wannabes are the ones who blame others for not taking a good photograph — it’s either the fault of the photographer or the makeup artist. I bring this story up because it’s a mistake I often reflect on and try to learn from. If you are having trouble discerning whether you are coming across as arrogant, ask a trusted friend or business partner who has had the courage in the past to speak honestly with you about other difficult/sensitive matters; at times looking in the mirror doesn't completely work (the light can be adjusted or we could just look at our good side). The recruiter listened patiently. So here, just to make the line abundantly clear, are five ways men mistake arrogance for confidence. March 14, 2015 by swifttohear. Being confident without becoming arrogant is a challenge that leaders have to keep on their agenda at all times. Arrogant. Confidence is inspiring; arrogance is a turn-off. This simply makes the arrogant person look even smaller. Just like beauty, arrogance versus confidence is sometimes in the eye of the beholder; it can also be a very culturally sensitive matter. Crossing that fine line or giving the appearance of crossing it can be detrimental in a negotiation or in a variety of other professional and personal situations. When it comes to your career, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to blame others, from a failed project to your exit interview. He simply rolled his eyes. Be a leader people want to follow and not one people would rather avoid. Before long there was a massive brain drain from his department. As a journalist, I interview many great business leaders, one of whom was Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. There is a fine line between the two in spite of the fact that they are actually polar opposites; much like a magnet with a positive and negative pole, arrogance and confidence can be viewed in the same respect. In Delivering Women, I wrote about my first impression of Peter Coleman when I met him over ten years ago. Completely unsolicited, they will jabber endlessly about who they know, who they met and who they pal around with. People who show confidence have genuine self-esteem, which comes from spending many hours in introspection and self-analyzation. However, the key differentiator between the two is the foundation. An arrogant person thinks they are better than others, while a confident person knows they are just as good as others. The Human vs. the Greek God. Admit your weaknesses No one is perfect. An arrogant person believes he/she is the center of the universe and that everybody has to act based on that, whilst a confident person masters his/her life without the expectance that people will act as if he/she is the most important person of this earth. Take the high road so you don’t get the eye roll. For example, when the conversation turned to a documentary that I had recently seen on sharks, this man said, “That’s nothing, I swim with sharks.” This trait in arrogant people is so common that the famous Dilbert cartoon strip has a recurring character named “Topper.” Confident people don’t feel the need to brag. "Very bold; presumptuous." How to Promote Yourself without Sounding Arrogant (Originally pictured at top: Dark clouds threatening, originally uploaded to Flickr by Vincent Vandevelde. In fact, it’s easy to come off as arrogant. A lot. However I like to think of myself as confident. Arrogant Entrepreneur (by Funders and Founders) sums it … Just because you’re new to the company doesn’t mean you don’t know what you’re doing, but there is also much to learn and much more that should be taken into consideration. Please share on social media if you found this post helpful. This chart called Confident Entrepreneur vs. Troy Hazard said that confident leaders think in reality while arrogant leaders do not. The perception of other people is also sensitive in this matter as your confidence can easily be mistaken for arrogance by some. You’ll find confident leaders have broader spheres of influence , attract better talent, engender more confidence, and earn more loyalty and respect than do those that lead with solely with their chutzpah. Confidence is grounded in experience and expertise with a sense of respect and humility; whereas arrogance, is grounded in nothing (it is unwarranted baseless confidence with lack of respect and humility). Whereas confidence, on the other hand, attracts positive people, fosters a collaborative environment, and promotes progress. Arrogant individuals have no interest in listening to others. Since arrogant people are only concerned about themselves, they’re not really listening to you. They can accept their own weaknesses and faults, whereas arrogant individuals usually hide their faults by exhibiting aggression. You call someone confident when you think their self-assuredness is warranted. That’s a key way to make them be untrustworthy of you right off that bat. Arrogance breeds superiority, and often an arrogant person becomes unbearable … A confident person has all the time in the world for you, unlike their arrogant counterpart Confident people will actively listen and make time to do so, showing an interest in the conversation and adding to it where appropriate – whereas an arrogant person has no time for anyone else’s ideas as theirs are more important. The Confident Mindset vs. the Arrogant Mindset . Confidence is open and less intimidating. Some well-known business leaders have been known to put down others with phrases like “that’s stupid” or “you’re a bozo.” These particular leaders are supremely confident, of course, but they’ve crossed the line into arrogance. A confident person shows it with his actions, not by his words. The confident interviewee admits this, the arrogant one pretends they're the exception. But his arrogance turned so many people off that he lost the loyalty of his team (and ultimately his position). Magnetism can generate electricity. It can also destroy something incredible (your computer/hard drive). Arrogant people think themselves better than others. Cockiness is one of those things that is easier for others to see than to see in yourself. He had integrity, strength of character, wisdom, and sobriety. But the vast majority of inspiring leaders are confident, not arrogant. Confident people know their strengths and weaknesses, while arrogant people have little self-knowledge. As psychologists Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer write: “Confidence and … If they don’t, they’ll earn the label arrogant. Confidence vs. Arrogance. Arrogance comes from the need to project superiority to be deemed credible or worthwhile. Lead 9 Signs You Are Genuinely Confident, Without Seeming Cocky at All The best confidence is quiet confidence. Are you arrogant or confident? Safe to say the conversation ended there. They have difficulty listening to others, and they are extremely rigid in accepting else’s opinion. Confident people have a good level of self-esteem and a positive regard for others. If you’re a sales director, you can’t be arriving late to meetings with clients. If you have a comment or question I would be happy to discuss. I didn’t see domineering, I didn’t see ego, and I didn’t see pride in him. Arrogant people think their time is more important than anybody else’s. To help clarify this discussion, I will paraphrase a couple of definitions of Confident from the free dictionary I found via Google: Confident = "Marked by assurance, as of success." When it comes to the responses they provoke, however, that’s where the similarities end. Arrogant people believe they know everything already and have a closed mindset toward new knowledge. #GetFiredUPMonday Another glorious Monday...I hope you're FiredUP about this week and ready to take the next step to fulfill your Destiny. There is no doubt about that person's strength of character, purpose, passion, or resolve. Psychologists say that arrogance is a compensation for insecurities and weaknesses. Bringing up his name in a presentation about leadership is appropriate; talking about Schultz with a barista at my local Starbucks in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is arrogant. Walking the fine line between confidence and arrogance is a challenge at times, but that's one of the reasons why it is so rare and precious when someone can do it. Confident leaders recognize great contributions by inspiring confidence in others. Furthermore, they usually show respect while listening to somebody. Here's how to know if you have real confidence -- … In fact, it’s easy to come off as arrogant. Self-confidence, though, is freeing and helpful. What is the difference between the two? It breaks down trust and a collaborative environment. An arrogant person will argue black is white, to prove their point. Arrogant people have difficulty listening to others. The best way to describe arrogant body language is “dominating.” Examples include pointing a finger at someone’s chest, hands on hips or waving someone off with a flick of the finger. I recently overheard a woman talking to a recruiter and saying vicious things about her former company as well as other companies in the industry. The arrogant person will constantly be looking past you for someone else to talk to — someone they think will benefit them more than you. 0. When the woman left, I leaned over and asked the recruiter what he thought. It breaks down trust and a collaborative environment. Confidence gets hired; arrogance is shown the door. Did this article help you? Arrogant = "Having or diplaying overbearing self-worth or self-assurance." There is a school of thought that arrogance stems from a sense of insecurity, and a person is arrogant to compensate for areas of weakness that cause distress for such a person. Vs. There are varying degrees of each and it is more of a spectrum with shades of gray in the middle, but we can feel it when someone crosses the line. Reposted in part from my answer to "How do I strike the balance between confidence and arrogance?" The key differences between an arrogant and confident person are that: Arrogant people have an exaggerated sense of their importance. In addition to getting your tasks done properlyand professionally, having a well-calibrated sen… While it’s good to have an elevator pitch prepared when someone asks you about yourself, having an answer for every single question is a sign of arrogance. Likewise, confidence can create and arrogance can destroy. Name-droppers are a dime a dozen. Whereas confidence comes from self-measurement (how am I doing compared to last time), arrogance stems from other-measurement (how am I doing compared to others). Watch “America’s Next Top Model” with Tyra Banks. “A wise friend told me this: Arrogance is the need to convince yourself and others that you're good at what you do. Needless to say, they don’t last long, even in an industry that has more than its share of divas. Arrogant people need to validate their belief of being better than others and are constantly looking for opportunities to sell themselves. Confident people typically operate from a very different psychological mindset than arrogant people. Research: It’s much better to apply for a job before 10 a.m. 3 top reasons people turn down a job offer, Here’s how to answer ‘What’s your biggest weakness?’. They’re only interested in themselves, and it shows through nonverbal communication. Being late means nothing to them. An arrogant person will rarely say, “I don’t know the answer, but I’ll find out.” Confident people admit mistakes and learn something from those experiences. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. A confident person, on the other hand, will not shy away from asking for directions when he or she is lost. Not only are they always on the lookout for someone else to talk to, they interrupt the conversation frequently. Their accomplishments do it for them. Arrogance repels positive people; it is detested in a negotiation and will hinder progress. I worked for one famous broadcast executive who routinely demeaned his employees and colleagues. The other day I was speaking to someone who has a reputation for arrogance, and I noticed a common theme in his conversation with me — he always tried to one-up everything I said. Arrogant people can’t ‘fess up to their own mistakes. They're aware that they don't know everything and are happy to learn from others. 10 Ways to Tell if You’re Confident – or Arrogant [The Ladders] Let’s Roar! It's critical you know how people see you. 1. Are You Confident or Just Cocky? By understanding their mindsets, it’s much easier to tell them apart. If you're asked about weaknesses, choose something that isn't critical to your ability to do the job well, explain how you're working to improve and move on. Confident leaders are timely and quick to apologize when they’re off schedule. Confidence vs. Arrogance. Arrogant people could care less about others. Arrogant people are the least approachable people on the face of the planet; whereas, a confident person will automatically want to help you out or talk to you. A confident person knows that he is just as good as others. Arrogance Repels/Confidence Attracts Arrogance repels positive people; it is detested in a negotiation and will hinder progress. Confidence is sometimes mistaken for arrogance in a negotiation as well as everyday life. If you are inflexible and think your way is the only right way – you could be arrogant and not even realize it, which could be one reason why you are struggling with success. An arrogant person is only a man of words. Arrogant people also like to talk about themselves. When someone is able to carry confidence with humility in a negotiation it is a beautiful thing. An arrogant person tries to belittle others by displaying his abilities while a confident person displays his abilities only in case of genuine need. If they use the right body language, voice tonality, and speech pacing, they’ll earn the label confident. They brag about their achievements, skills and abilities, and often ignore those around them. Sometimes it is tough to gauge how other people perceive us. Those in the staffing industry can see right through your confidence and into your arrogance. Whether someone is a confident or arrogant leader really affects how they make decisions. Arrogance pushes people away, and in that case, no one wins. Confidence versus arrogance, they are two very different things. Building confidence takes work; arrogance is simple. You can see arrogance in people who believe they already know it all. They are overbearing, pushy, and aggressive towards others. They praise in public and talk to subordinates as equals. In this week's… The name-dropper is a character who frequents many local Chamber of Commerce mixers. Being arrogant in the workplace will put the entire organization against you. Confident vs. Confidence, and its cousin, Courage, has more to do with integrity. By Sophia Dembling | March 3, 2017 | 0 . He was confident. Confidenceis being convinced of your strengths but fully aware of your weaknesses (which you know how to address),” she says. Avoid these 12 behaviors so you don’t leave the impression of being a Class-A jerk people would rather avoid instead of the confident leader they want to follow. Constantly interrupting during a panel interview would be a huge turn off for most hiring managers. Being confident without coming off as arrogant is an essential life skill. Pride creeps in and destroys the work that you’ve done. If you’re interviewing at Aetna, don’t go in and put Cigna on blast. Think twice before you decide to do so. The confident also succeed in business, but not at the expense of others as do the arrogant. Confident women are labeled as aggressive or bitchy. It’s having realistic self-knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses, the humility to ask for help when you need it, and a self-assured understanding that you c… An arrogant person would rather bluff than admit his weakness. 2019 image updates (dark cloud over field) via Stencil.) In one conversation I witnessed a few weeks ago, one participant mentioned that they were a systems engineer at a certain company, and the other person interjected to say that they were a senior systems engineer at another company. Confidence gets hired; arrogance is shown the door. Dr. Frowsa´ Booker-Drew, business author and owner of training company Soulstice Consultancy, says you need to define the two words as a good first step towards mastering them. Confident leaders look you in the eye and make you feel as though you’re the most important person in the room. Without deference, you’re arrogant (whether or not you have any genuine confidence). Confident people will rarely be found lecturing or preaching to others or how they are wrong. He was bright; ambitious; and yes, confident. Narcissists might show up as arrogant or charming. Arrogance isn’t just exaggerated self-confidence; rather, it comes from insecurity, comparing yourself to others. Translation: Arrogant people talk the talk, but confident people walk the walk, so if you want to be confident without coming off as arrogant, let your body do the talking. The, “I’m better than other people,” attitude is a losing proposition. Arrogant people can’t see the strengths in their competitors, and if they do, they seek to minimize those competitors by bad-mouthing them. This is especially true given both entail a strong belief in one’s own abilities. 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